Champions League Nightmares: Liverpool's Transfer Chaos and Marmoush's Tottenham Move

Omar Marmoush has apparently walked into an “immediate Tottenham blow”. The kind of devastating setback that Carlos Baleba somehow survived before rocking up at Manchester United.

It’s nonsense. All of it.

Champions League ‘nightmares’ everywhere

The word of the week is “nightmare”.

“Arsenal’s Champions League draw in full as Gunners handed nightmare fixtures,” screams the Daily Express website.

“Man City handed nightmare Champions League draw with Arsenal also given tricky fixtures as Man United face old foes on return to competition – and Jose’s back at the Bridge!” adds MailOnline.

“Champions League group phase predicted by supercomputer with Man Utd having a nightmare after horror draw,” piles in The Sun.

Apparently, everyone’s living their worst life in the Champions League now. Tough opponents? In Europe’s elite competition? How spooky.

United’s ‘horror’… of finishing ninth

That supposed Manchester United “nightmare after horror draw” is something else.

“Manchester United have been tipped to agonisingly miss out on the top eight of the Champions League league phase,” we’re told. The “boffins and brainiacs” at Football Ranked have run their numbers and decided Michael Carrick’s side will finish ninth.

So United, in this doomsday scenario, would be the highest-ranked seeded team in the knockout play-off, facing the weakest unseeded side.

Terrifying stuff. Truly chilling.

Liverpool’s stealth… except when it wasn’t

Jeremy Cross, in the Daily Mirror, makes a fair wider point: Liverpool used to run rings around Manchester United in the transfer market and now look just as chaotic.

But then he writes this:

“In that same period, Liverpool conducted their own business with ruthless stealth. Big targets were kept under the radar, until a deal was so close to being completed it would be made public.

“This happened with the likes of Virgil Van Dijk, Alexis Mac Allister, Alisson and Luis Diaz, to name but a few.”

That’s a bold reading of history. Liverpool literally had to issue a public apology over their pursuit of Virgil Van Dijk after Southampton reported them to the Premier League for an illegal approach.

Ruthless stealth? Under the radar? They were so under the radar they ended up in a formal complaint.

Barcola, ‘desperation’ and a £120m reality

Then it gets stranger.

“Negotiations are taking place with PSG about a deal for Bradley Barcola, with a deal likely to come close to the fee paid to Newcastle for Isak.

“Under normal circumstances, such a move would leave supporters feeling overwhelmed excitement.

“The problem is, Liverpool have turned to Barcola in desperation less than a week before the transfer window closes, having pulled out of the bidding for Brighton’s Yankuba Minteh.”

Except Liverpool haven’t suddenly “turned to” Barcola in a late-window panic. They’ve been trying to get him all summer. It turns out negotiating a £120m transfer with PSG is not the swiftest process in world football.

Cross should know how messy this can get. He tied himself in knots trying to keep up with Elliot Anderson’s move.

The great shirt-number crisis

Then comes the shirt-number discourse.

“Bradley Barcola set to wear bizarre unused shirt number at Liverpool,” says The Sun’s website.

“Bradley Barcola can wear dream shirt number at Liverpool after PSG transfer agreement reached,” counters the Liverpool Echo.

The same number. The same situation. One man’s “bizarre” is, apparently, the very same man’s “dream”.

Marmoush and the ‘immediate Tottenham blow’

Which brings us back to Omar Marmoush and his supposed misery.

“Omar Marmoush to suffer immediate Tottenham blow after Man City £60m transfer breakthrough,” declares the Daily Express website.

Long-time readers will recognise the template. It’s the same melodramatic construction they used for Carlos Baleba’s move to Manchester United.

The “immediate blow”? Not an injury. Not a tactical snub. Not even a late collapse of the deal.

It’s the number on the back of his shirt.

“Moving to Tottenham will give Marmoush the opportunity to play more regularly, having only made eight Premier League starts for City last season. However, he won’t have everything his own way when he arrives in the capital.

“That’s because he will need to pick a different shirt number, with his preferred No 7 already occupied by Xavi Simons.”

The horror. More minutes, bigger role, major move… but no No 7. Might as well dig out the small print and beg to go back to Manchester City, where he won’t play but at least the shirt looks right.

Ronaldo, United and the stall no one visited

Samuel Luckhurst is on solid ground when he points out Manchester United still haven’t sold a single first-team player this summer. For a club of that size, it’s a glaring weakness. Everyone else at the top end of Europe seems to be shifting assets. United cling on.

But the way he closes the argument jars:

“Even one of the greatest, Cristiano Ronaldo, was burnt by his association with United.

“When Ronaldo effectively filed for divorce with his November 2022 interview with the sycophantic Piers Morgan, Morgan said: ‘If it was just about money, you’d be in Saudi Arabia.’

“Saudi was the only place to offer Ronaldo a home. Even he did not have shoppers flocking to United’s stall.”

Ronaldo didn’t fail to attract “shoppers” because United’s brand had suddenly become toxic. He failed because he had turned himself into a 37-year-old, wildly expensive, self-absorbed problem.

Clubs took one look at the wages, the tantrums, the public interview, and walked away. Of course United couldn’t find a buyer for “even” him.

That doesn’t explain why they can’t now move on Joshua Zirkzee. That’s a different problem entirely – and one they can’t pin on Cristiano Ronaldo, Piers Morgan, or a lack of “boffins and brainiacs” in their own recruitment department.