Mikel Arteta and Gabriel Jesus: The Reality Behind the Headlines

Mikel Arteta, apparently, has gone to war with Gabriel Jesus. Or so a flurry of headlines would have you believe.

The reality? A lot calmer. And a lot less dramatic.

A Land Rover on its roof and a "Premier League star"

Near Hull’s training ground, a Land Rover ended up flipped on its roof. The pictures looked awful. The outcome, thankfully, did not. Nobody was hurt. That’s the only part that really matters.

What followed, though, was the predictable scramble for attention. Sorba Thomas, who has played barely half an hour of Premier League football, suddenly became a “Premier League star” in some headlines. Technically accurate, yes. Honest about his status in the division? Not really.

Pochettino, Spurs and a title that isn’t coming back

Mauricio Pochettino’s recent backing of the idea that Tottenham should be handed the 2016/17 Premier League title, with Chelsea stripped of it, always felt like a non-starter. Enter the Daily Mirror website:

“Premier League responds after Mauricio Pochettino calls for Chelsea to be stripped of title.”

There’s no suspense there. No mystery. Nobody inside the Premier League offices is about to decide, a decade on, that Spurs should be champions because Pochettino says so.

The opening line from John Cross underlines the inevitability of it all:

“Premier League chiefs insist they did not let Chelsea off lightly amid the storm surrounding their 2017 title.”

Of course they insist that. The story would only be remotely surprising if they’d admitted the opposite. To add to the sense of reheated content, the quotes being used are at least a month old, even as the headline leans heavily on the idea that this is fresh, breaking reaction.

Boxing Day, “tradition” and selective outrage

Cross also gets a chunk of the Mirror’s back page to point out that this season’s Boxing Day fixtures fall on a Saturday rather than a Friday. In other words: the schedule is slightly more convenient.

Not long ago, voices were lining up to declare Premier League football on Boxing Day “a goner”, and to lament the supposed death of a cherished English football tradition. Now that the calendar has fallen kindly, the question hangs there: was that outrage ever really about tradition, or just noise?

Arteta, Jesus and a “row” that barely exists

Then comes the latest attempt to turn Arsenal into a soap opera.

After talk of “unhappy” Arsenal players reacting to Gabriel Martinelli being left out ahead of a lucrative move, attention has shifted to Gabriel Jesus, another Brazilian forward on his way out and another opportunity to frame Mikel Arteta as the villain.

The headlines did their best:

• “Mikel Arteta fires back at Gabriel Jesus as row over bitter Arsenal transfer exit escalates” – Daily Mirror.
• “Mikel Arteta hits back at Gabriel Jesus after making accusations against Arsenal boss” – Football.London.
• “Shocked Mikel Arteta hits back after Gabriel Jesus blasts Arsenal treatment” – London Evening Standard.

What did this furious “hit back” actually sound like? Arteta’s words were measured, even soft:

“Very surprised, to be fair, especially because with Gabriel I had an individual talk in the dressing room. I don’t know what the words were said, it’s fine.

“And the words that we used for each other, it was all about gratitude. So, I don’t know, it’s okay. Sometimes I understand when you have to deliver bad news or news that people don’t expect. Those things are reactive. Somebody has to be there to be bad cop. If I have to be, I have to be. And I understand.

“What is important is normally what happens three months later, six months later, when Trossard comes in, he’s in the dressing room with all of us, the atmosphere and the relation you have. And thank God so far, with all the players that they left, at some point their relationship has been really good. I hope that’s the same case.”

This is not a manager tearing into a former player. It’s a coach talking about “gratitude”, about difficult conversations, about wanting relationships to remain intact months down the line. The supposed “escalation” amounts to Arteta acknowledging he had to be the “bad cop” when delivering news Jesus didn’t want to hear.

If that’s a dressing-room time bomb, then the bar for crisis has dropped through the floor.

Nkunku and the “slam” that wasn’t

The same inflation of language appears around Christopher Nkunku on The Sun’s website:

“Nkunku lifts lid on Chelsea nightmare… and slams ex-Man Utd boss Amorim.”

You don’t have to search hard to find someone willing to criticise Ruben Amorim these days, but the quoted words hardly qualify as a “slam”:

“Milan’s decision? It’s a choice that should be respected, but I don’t know why they acted that way. I was surprised. In any case, I wish them a good season. At Milan I didn’t have any injuries, but the vision of football was different from mine. So, as soon as the opportunity arose to come back here and play my football, I seized it.”

Respect, surprise, a different footballing vision, and a polite goodbye. If that’s a verbal hammer blow, standards for outrage are getting embarrassingly low.

Man City, Old Trafford and a “hoodoo” that doesn’t exist

MailOnline tried a similar trick with Manchester City’s record at Old Trafford:

“Why Man City are fired up to end their Old Trafford hoodoo…”

The word “hoodoo” suggests a curse, a long, miserable run. The reality? City haven’t scored there since 2023, but they’ve only played at Old Trafford twice in that period, one of those games finishing 0-0. Before that, they thrashed Manchester United 3-0.

A defeat and a draw after a comfortable away win is not a curse. It’s a small sample size.

The pattern is clear. From Arteta and Jesus to Nkunku and Amorim, from Pochettino’s title fantasy to City’s supposed Old Trafford nightmare, the volume keeps getting turned up while the substance stays the same.

The games themselves will bring enough drama soon enough. Do they really need this much help?